Baby Update

Hello everyone!!! Just thought I would take a few minutes to update and let my faithful readers know how baby Jaydin is doing. First off I have a wonderful picture to show. She smiles now, and I was lucky enough to catch one of those beautiful smiles on camera so here you go...



Isn't she getting so big?? She has her days and nights correct! Finally Yea!!! Yes Jim that means you get more sleep now. Tehe. And now for my exciting moment. I was lucky enough to catch a first on camera. This makes me a cool mom right? My wonderful big girl daughter was holding her bottle all by her little self. Take a look!!!



Oh such a big girl. Now for a family update. Everyone is doing very well. Tristin is enjoying school a lot. He comes home and can identify purple, pink, blue, yellow, and this week they are working on white. Chris Chris needs glasses. We took him a few weeks ago to try on a pair and he didnt want to take them off. Lets hope he leaves them on when we finally get them in. Sissy is just getting bigger. I swear height wise she will be passing Chris very soon. I went into my room the other day and she yelled "Mommy" at the top of her lungs and was looking right at me. She knows who I am. Sadly I do have a prayer request that isnt so great. Please pray that Tony will start wanting something to do with his daughters. It kills me when he doesnt even ask about them. Please pray he is a better dad. Well, thats it for now. I promise I will try to update more often. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!!!!

Jaydin Ethel-Delores Cottingham

Well, hello again from a very skinny new mommy! First and foremost I want to welcome a beautiful little girl to the family. Jaydin Ethel-Delores Cottingham. She is one of the two most beautiful girls in the world!!! What do you think?




This is the day she came home. I cook them do perfection dont I? She is doing very well. I'm sorry this is a short update, but I've actually stollen the computer from someone who was on it. Ooops. I will update more later.

Countdown to Stardust = Countdown to Sunday

So this post may start off a bit sad, but I promise the end results are going to be happy. My dad has gone back to Detroit, and I have lost the PPO case against Tony. Things have been pretty stressful still trying to figure everything out. Mom and I sat down and counted the other night and we discovered that since July 19 I have been in the hospital 7 times. The last two where the worst. One of those visits I was out of Darvaset and told that Dr. Kindred said I could not have anymore until my office visit with him on Thursday which was 2 days away. I was also sent home having contractions every 8-10 minutes yet told that if I have 5 or more contractions in one hour to come back. You do the math. I held out until Wednesday night with no pain medicine. I just couldnt take anymore. Jaydin and really dropped low, I was having pelvic pressure, leaking of fluids, contractions, and of course my wonderful gallbladder. So this time I was escourted to the hospital by not only my mom, but this time my step-dad Tom as well. They where both fed up. I believe the best phrase I heard from mom that night was "I'm making a goal line stand tonight and she is NOT leaving this hospital until you do something for her!" Yes, my wonderful, loving, Christian mother became a Triffilin Detroiter. Just like me. :) I went home that night with Vicodin (yes it was approved while I'm prego) dilated to a 1.5, and put on STRICT bedrest. The next day I went to see Dr. Kindred ready to attack. I was MAD!!! How was it right that I was being told that I was not in a medical emergency (I was in a TON of pain almost ALL the time) even though my head let alone my body couldnt take the pain anymore?? Mom and Tom kept me very calm. Mom explained how her, Dad, and my "hired help" have completly exhausted themselves. Nobody getting hardly any sleep, and if that was the case for them just imagine the amount of sleep I was getting being in all the pain I was in. Mom explained that I had been sent home 2 days before with NO pain management and contractions. She told him how I had been told by residents that Dr. Kindred said I was addicted to medicine, and well to make a long story short she layed everything out on the table for him and in a very straight, calm, get to the point way told Dr. Kindred he was GOING to do something (it did sound to me that she really wasnt giving him much of a choice so for that: THANK YOU MOM!!!). Dr. Kindred said he had no idea that I was in that much pain, if he would have been told by the residents he would have given me something for the pain. He couldnt figure out why when I told the hospital that I had been leaking fluid that they never did a sonogram. So, Dr. Kindred have them do one on me right then and there. Praise God that he did. It turns out that my fluid has been disipating and leaking and that there's hardly any left. So now instead of having to wait until the scheduled date of September 20th for my c-section, but I get the c-section on Sunday September 5th. God is good!!! I am asking for prayer for Jaydin that all will be well with her health. I am asking for prayer that everyone is able to stay strong. And I want to thank all of the people in my life that have been a HUGE support staff for me. The mother I thought I would never have Becky. God truely blessed me when he put you in my life. The step-dad I never thought could be a dad Tom. Thank you for being grumpy and making me laugh, and for telling me the truth even when I didnt want to hear it. And the new found friend that REFUSES to leave Jim. In the middle of the night when I never could have made it through on my own, you got me through... even when I was crazy. I love you all VERY MUCH!!! To my Tristin thank you for asking me if I was okay and kissing my cheek at just the right moment. To my Chris thank you for being the sweet little boy you have always been since the day you where born. To my loving daughter Jordin thank you for letting me be one of the first people to get your kisses at just the right moment too, and for not eating my nose. To my Jaydin, you have been through hell and back it seems to me from the scare in the begining to the pains now. I look so forward to meeting you, and the same advice I have for you. Be like Grandma Cottingham. She will never steer you wrong. I love you guys too!!! So everyone else thank you for keeping updated on my blog. Hopefully the next post I make here will be a nice pic of Jaydin Ethel-Delores Cottingham. God Bless!!!

Gallstones, and babies, and pain oh my

Hello everyone. I wish that I had non stressful things to report today but unfortuanatly I dont. I went yesterday and got an order of protection against Tony, which honestly it broke my heart. When you love and care for someone for as long as I have loved him it hurts. But anyway, while I was at the courthouse I went to such an extreme pain that an abulance got called and the judge was nice enough to hear my case early and grant my order. I got rushed to the hospital with contractions and found out that I have Gallstones which sadly Jaydin is making worse by pushing up against them. They want to do surgery but they cant because it's too much of a risk to Jaydin. So, now the discussion is if they are going to take out the gallbladder when they take Jaydin. They tried to stop the contractions last night but the medicine didnt help. It actually felt worse to me. So, they are just trying to encourage my body to hold on for two more weeks so her lungs are more developed and then they may do something if this doesnt stop. We found out a lot of it is stress related because Jaydin pushes and clenches when I am stressed. I am also dialated to a 1 right now. Looks like no returning to work, I am on maternity leave now. I'm also cancelling the baby shower because nobody can make it. That's okay, with everything going on it may be for the best. I'm just going to have a small lunch with family that day and just enjoy having my family around. It's been really nice to have my dad here from Michigan. I have missed him. I dont want to go into details on the Tony issue thing, but I want everyone to know that I honestly believe with all my heart that things will work out in the end. My dad brought me pictures of Grandma Cottingham and Grandma Sissy and things that belonged to them so it seems as though I feel their strength in me, and it feels good to have a soul renewed.
On the Jaydin front she is doing really well. I actually do have a funny story to share. The hospital was giving me a sonogram to find out what the pain was. The tech told me that she wasnt going to look for baby she was just going to try to see what was causing my pain. What was funny was the first thing she saw when she put the wand on my belly. There was Jaydin not being one bit of shy if you catch my drift. The tech asked me if I knew if it was a boy or girl and i said I was told it was a girl, and she said well, we can definally tell that now if you didnt know before. It was very amuzing and something that made a smile admist all the stress and pain. Well, thats it for now. I am going to go enjoy my dad's company. Dont get to see him often, but itss really nice having him here.

Jaydin is ok... am I?

Hello everyone. Sorry that I haven't written in awhile. In the past two weeks I have been hospitalized. First I should start off by telling you that Jaydin is FINE. She kicks and plays and is fine. Her heart rate is good. Jaydin wise everything is OK. I on the other hand am not. Some of you may have noticed that some of my entries here have been pretty depressing breaking my own rule of no negative posts. Some of you may or may not have known that in January of 2006 I was diagnosed Bipolar 2 (meaning rapid cycler). I did pretty well staying on my medicine but was careful of whom I told because some thought it was me just looking for an excuse to my behavior. In June of 2006 I found out I was pregnant with Tristin and I had to stop taking my medicine because it could be harmful during pregnancy. Since then I have been pregnant in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, and now 2010 and have not been able to take my medicine except for Zoloft which doesn't have any effect on me whatsoever. However, recently things have changed for me and my mind and body said enough. I caught a simple cold a few weeks ago that sent me into a coughing spell which sent me into a panic attack. Luckily I was with Becky and Tom and they got me to the hospital very concerned for Jaydin getting oxygen. I honestly dont remember most of the hospital stay so what I am about to tell you is coming from Becky (for all those who still think this is an excuse). Apparently I freaked out over an I.V., I was NOT being rational with the nurses, I wanted to go home because I didn't want Tony mad at me, and at first I didn't want to admit there was any problem at all. Finally Becky calmed me down and convinced me to stay and get the help she knew I needed. I was not only physically exhausted (dehydrated, loosing weight, and very pale all the time) but I was mentally exhausted as well. I was over working myself (yes I'm back at Domino's) thinking irrational thoughts (no that doesn't make me a skit so, and no I didn't want to harm anyone I just wanted to disappear), very depressed, letting myself be bullied by people (a certain someone) without realizing it, and letting my kids determine my every move (including eating because they cried when I ate so I stopped eating). Needless to say (as my favorite TV show host puts it) I was a HOT MESS. I saw two Psychiatric doctors and was finally discharged (the first time) with medicine. Thanks to Becky who REFUSED to let me leave the hospital without treatment. I am no longer ashamed to say I take medicine for my Bipolar. I am on Prozac, I am on Serequil, and I am on Ambien. No, it's not harming Jaydin, and for all those people who like to talk, I am NOT going to stop taking it because YOU say so. YOU are NOT my doctor. Things are slowly getting better for me. I am able to recognize irrational thoughts, and when I am being bullied. Things wont change over night. Please don't expect them to (and if this is a problem for you talk to Becky). I am not trying to sound harsh, please understand: I AM TIRED. I am not using this as an excuse for anything, and no honestly I don't expect some people to understand. If you don't understand Bipolar feel free to look it up online and educate yourself. I did. Right now the only people I can go to when I go through a "spell" is Becky and Tom. They are the only ones that understand. I cant expect them (especially Becky who battles the same thing in face we discovered the other day we are bipolar Bipolar meaning each other) to be there every time I call, so yes I am asking that certain other people (you know who you are) to please please do your best to understand, know I'm not lying, and know I'm not using this as an excuse, but right now I need my friends and family (if there are any left). Don't feel sorry for me, I'm not asking you to. Just understand. Well, today has been busy for me, so I am going to get going. I also suppose I have given enough information for ya'll to process. I do ask that if you have read this you respond. I need to know who I have left.

Exhausted

This past few weeks have been horrable for me. I have cancelled doctor appointments all week because I have no transportation, I have been stressed out about cleaning houses and what certain other people think, and now I finally get one kid to a VERY important appointment and they end up having to call 911 because I passed out complety ruining the appointment. I went to the hospital, they said I have low blood pressure, I'm dehydrated, low patassium levels, my anxiety and stress are very high (I had two anxiety attacks while I was there). Over the weekend mom and Tom took care of me while Tony wasnt home which was a HUGE help. I have convinced myself of stupid stuff though. For example even though he has never asked me I have convinced myself I have to greet Tony at the door when he gets off work with a cold moutain dew and the TV remote, and dinner MUST be done. The eating order at my house is kids, Tony, then me. Thats if I was even smart enough to make food for myself. If I didnt then I dont get to eat because if I have anything different than the boys they whine and cry until I give them what I have (even if they are full) so I just end up not eating anyway. They weighed me at the doctors today and I've lost two pounds. I am very overwhelmed about everything and crap I have told my stuff I have to do. I'm very near my ending point but its ok. Right? Oh baby is fine too. Moving lots. Thinking about taking down the carebears theme in the girls room though because someone else likes carebears and i'm just a copy cat. I dont have anything to change it to yet though but I could figure something out. Mom is stopping me from painting the house right now. We think I may be too horemonal right now to do it. Concidering the reason I want to is because I feel like a hotel. I'm not even proud of myself for the house anymore. I dont feel I have achieved anything. Sorry everyone for the depressing stuff ya'll but when you feel like I do you can't find anything good to report. I'm sorry.

Oh The Joys of Pregnancy

Ok, so right now I'm NOT OK!!! I am so hormonal, and so emotional its ridiculous. I want to scream at people, cry in my pillow, and running away sounds pretty good too right now. I swear last week everything was in order. I knew dates and times, and had arrangements made. Now I feel like I dont know anything. I had plans to have walls skimmed on next Thursday and Friday while I clean, and paint on Saturday and Sunday. SO NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!! I didn't factor in priming. Ha!!! Now I have help on Saturday and Sunday but none after that. Tony will be at work. Anyone else ever felt overwhelmed by a HUGE paint project and taking care of 3 kids??? Dont forget the moving and organizing!!! I am determined to have this ALL done by the time mom gets back from Rachel's. I just dont know that it will be, and if it's not I'm gonna be really disappointed in myself because I wanted mom to come back to a "new" house. Tristin had his last day of school today, so I dont even get a break now. He doesnt take naps so that means I will have at least one kid all day long. It doesnt help either when people around you are being negative. Tony keeps saying he doesnt think the money is coming. Even when I tell him I have be REASSURED BY NOT ONLY THE IRS BUT MY IRS ADVOCATE!!! The check is being mailed THIS Friday, I know I wont get it on Saturday, or Monday because the mail isnt running on Memorial Day. I am expecting Tuesday or Wednesday at the LATEST. I have my hopes very high up, and its almost like Tony is TRYING to knock them down. It's hard to stay positive when your so emotional already. I'm even upset about a curtain that hangs over a door. There is something really wrong with that picture. Not to mention (and I'm not mad at anyone) nobody responded to my blog about Star being a girl. NOT EVEN ON FACEBOOK. Except Vanessa. Well, I'm gonna get going because it is starting to become very difficult to follow my own no negative posts rule.